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Men And Stuff And Why They Hold Onto It
It's a mystery why men never get rid of stuff, but the fact is each man probably has at least the equivalent of one railroad boxcar full of stuff that he's going to take to his grave. Now, everybody knows that men and boys differ only by the cost of their toys, but it should also be said that all of the things they each collect help to differentiate them as well.
One good example of this is to think about a man and an object he particularly treasures. Maybe it's a ski helmet that he used one time back when Gerald Ford was running things. He probably ended up hated skiing that day but that helmet is proof that he once skied, so expect to find it on his mantle well into his 80s. It's kind of a badge of honor, in truth.
Most likely, the helmet will turn up in a museum collection on some off-world planet after we finally figure out that hyperdrive or warp drive thingy that all the science fiction movies tell us is just around the corner. It'll probably be just as dusty and unused then as it is today and as it was over 30 years ago, but it's a way for man to connect with his past, most would say.
Another good example is that old black sport watch that broke back during the first Clinton administration and was never repaired. Sure, there are probably more than a few memories attached to that watch but you'd think a man would either pay the money to get it fixed or just throw it out. Maybe the psychic vibes of all those good times emanate from it in the dark of night to comfort his dreams. Yes, that might be it.
Usually, women who have experience with boys and men understand that this sort of pack rat behavior has some type of visceral significance to most men. Perhaps it's because men have something in their DNA that almost makes it impossible for them to throw away an object that most women wouldn't even consider keeping in the same county, let alone household.
Maybe when he was a boy, and he went to his favorite baseball team's ball game and got one of those souvenir helmets with the little Oriole on the front of it, that it had some relevancy. After all, there was many a day that that the helmet graced his little noggin, though the little bird is long gone and there's a crack running alongside from when that little black helmet was hit with a baseball just a bit too hard during a sandlot game. Again, that helmet's not going anywhere, either.
This is why men tend to make the best museum curators and cultural historians. They look back at history and see nothing but an unbroken line of men, all collecting stuff. Even the pharaohs collected stuff to the ultimate degree and actually tried to take it all with them, including their living servants. Perhaps at some point in the future, an archaeologist will find a watch, a helmet and something to do with snow and scratch her head about what it all means, though any man would be able to explain it all.
Television picks for Nov. 20-26 (On_Screen)
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holiday will be marked by an abundance of TV football and gastronomical
gluttony.
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